Forgiveness is more about yourself and less about those who hurt you

4 May 2021 - 10:09

Let go and feel lighter with forgiveness.

Written by Michè Edwards

“I’ll never forgive you” is where most of us saw ourselves at some point as we sit hurt by others actions while forgiveness is a distant thought. 

You’re angry or even furious and your feelings are valid but nothing good comes from holding onto all of that. 

What holding onto a grudge does to you

A feeling such as a grudge hurts the immune system. Yes, our mental baggage and past wounds can do more damage than we could think.

“When we hold onto grudges and resentment, it’s like drinking poison and expecting the other person to get sick. It causes us to carry negative, tense energy in our biology.”

– Psychotherapist Angela Buttimer

Sometimes we hold onto grudges to feel a sense of control but forgiveness is so much more rewarding. Transmute that control into leaving behind a victim mentality.

You also develop unwanted stress of replaying old hurtful and traumatic experiences which could bring along many health complications.


Forcing forgiveness is not the answer 

While storing a grudge is not the answer, rushing to forgiveness is not either. When you rush to forgive you’re minimising your feelings, which means you’re not giving yourself space and time to feel your full scale of emotions. 

All that eventually leads to a longer healing process. Accept the hurt, accept the uncomfortable and surrender to all stages of your grief. 

Your health is on the line, so go ahead and forgive 

Check out these health benefits that come with forgiveness noted by Mayo Clinic.


When we forgive we hold space for more love and light. This brings on more loving and healthier relationships. We’re able to operate in love and understanding after letting go of the hurt. 

Less hurt, less stress and anxiety. Built-up negative emotions can affect our mental health tremendously but when we forgive we move into better mental states. 

Now that we’re carrying around less we have stronger immune systems. Higher states of being such as when we’re laughing triggers the release of endorphins, the body’s natural feel-good chemicals. It then contributes to better heart health and your health overall.